Warning signs of spiritual abuse – how to avoid the pitfalls of spiritual development + find the right teachers, healers + groups. This is the first part of the article.

The dangers and consequences of ‘conspiracy theory’ addiction: the risks and how to avoid it. This is the second part of the article.

Part 1 – Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse

When you start to learn about spirituality, you may hungrily seek spiritual teachers to support your unfoldment.

These days, there are multitudes of wonderful teachers, healers and guides who work from the heart.

Yet, it’s important to know the warning signs of spiritual abuse, to keep yourself safe in the spiritual world.

It is always wise to think carefully and take responsibility for all your choices, even if you are receiving guidance from someone more spiritually experienced than you.

Most spiritual teachers, healers and guides do their work from a desire to serve, help and assist. Many have little or no desire for the spot-light, fame or wealth.

Be selective about which spiritual groups you join and trust your intuition about the kind of spiritual healers and guides you work with.

Though spiritual abuse is rare, it basically describes when a person, whose role is to support you, takes advantage of you or harms you.

It is usually when the person puts their own needs over and above your own.

Spiritual abuse can take place subtly or overtly, consciously or unconsciously.

Therefore, it is very important to be know how to recognise the danger signs spiritual of spiritual abuse in it’s early stages.

If you spot the possible dangers of spiritual abuse in advance you can mitigate harm, to yourself and others.

Unfortunately, if you are a highly sensitive person who is empathic, you may have a tendency to give away your power.

You may assume that everyone holds themselves to the same high standards as you, and is motivated by the purest intentions.

This means that, with authority figures, you may trust too easily or overlook the warning signs of spiritual abuse because of a wish to avoid conflict, or a fear of penalty or being disliked.

Warning Signs: Trust Your Gut

Reasons you may be susceptible to overlooking your gut instincts and choosing the wrong person to work with can be:

• Impatience – If you have an appetite for learning or an ambition to progress quickly spiritually, these factors may make make you rush forward impatiently, instead of waiting to find the right spiritual teacher for you.

• Convenience or cost – For example, the person you choose to learn from or work with is affordable, available to fit around your schedule or close to where you live, you may override your gut instinct on other matters.

• Personal history – If you have grown up in a dysfunctional family or have not had consistent love, validation + support as a chid, neglectful or abusive situations may feel more ‘normal’. Feeling orphaned and looking for a substitute family to give you a sense of belonging, you may be blind to the more negative aspects or a group or relationship, and have a tendency to put spiritual people on a pedestal.

This article gives you ten warning signs of spiritual abuse to watch out for.

It is my aim that, armed with the knowledge of what spiritual abuse is, you can avoid it.

If you have found a group where you feel safe and accepted with a high standard of ethics, that’s a fantastic thing! Cherish it!

Unfortunately, some spiritual groups do not cultivate a safe environment to open up in. Even though they give the appearance of peace and love on the surface.

Whether you’re dabbling in yoga or opening up your intuition, the spiritual world – like the physical world – is not all love and light.

If you have had a bad experience with some form of spiritual abuse, then please know you can recover from it.

You will grow from the experience to become stronger and wiser!

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #1

Self-aggrandisement + self-promotion

This is when it slowly becomes clear that your spiritual teacher, healer or guide is in it for wrong reasons.

Most spiritual teachers teach are motivated by a pure heart. In fact, many gifted healers and healing teachers have a problem because they give too much, only think of others and therefore get burnt-out!

However, spiritual abuse can take place when a teacher, healer or guide is coming from a place of ego. In this case, they may be primarily concerned about becoming known, being ‘the best’ or being professionally recognised to an unhealthy degree.

This can lead them to climb over others in a bid for pole position, or to ignore the needs of their pupils / clients.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse: Pay attention to the language they use to describe themselves and their services, the way they speak to people and the kind of energy they are putting out.

Red flags to look out for:

Boasting, name-dropping, scoffing, mocking, belittling, showmanship.

Watch out for narcissism, in yourself and others. Take the Narcissistic Personality Inventory.

Spiritual Abuse – A Few Examples

To get a better understanding of the warning signs of spiritual abuse, try three outrageous documentaries:

1. If you’ve ever done Bikram Yoga – I have! – see Netflix’s new documentary titled Bikram – Yogi, Guru, Predator.

2) If you’ve ever done an Osho retreat or meditations – I have! – check out Netflix’s documentary Wild Wild Country. It’s about Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh’s utopian Oregon city of the 1970s.

3) If you’ve ever read, watched or listened to The Secret – I have! – check out Netflix’s documentary, Enlighten Us, about James Arthur Ray, a former self help guru + Oprah guest who was convicted of negligent homicide in 2011.

4) If you had ever considered visiting the world famous John of God in Brazil – I certainly did! – to experience some of his supernatural healing powers, you can now save your flight. In 2019, he was sentenced to 19 years in prison for rape of multiple women, over a 30 year period as a healer.

5) Take a look into an extremely frightening US multi-millionaire TV evangelist called Kenneth Copeland. The clip below is from 2019:

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #2

Hierarchy

This is when you, as a pupil, peer or client, are given the subtle but clear and often repeated message from someone that:

“I’m more advanced / worthy than you.”

Hierarchies can be instigated by subgroups within a larger whole, as well as individuals.

At the heart of this dynamic is a drive for more power and status. People who position themselves at the top of a spiritual hierarchy can try to make themselves inaccessible and invulnerable.

They are reluctant to nurture others or share their own spiritual wisdom.

They find it hard to relate on an empathic level as they, like warning signs of spiritual abuse number 1, are coming from ego instead of a pure-hearted desire to serve.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse: Pay attention to your own emotions. Do you feel a more pronounced sense of invisibility, inadequacy or not being good enough whilst you are in their company? You should feel inspired and encouraged, not demotivated or not good enough.

Red flags to look out for:

Obscure language and spiritual jargon to explain simple concepts. Unwillingness to enlighten or share wisdom with others. Remember: “The highest wisdom is simple and passes through the brain directly into the heart.” – Viktor Schauberger, philosopher.

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #3

Competitiveness (envy, jealousy)

Though it is rare that a spiritual teacher will feel envious, competitive with or jealous of a pupils success or ability, it can happen.

More frequently, this kind of spiritual abuse occurs in groups, classes, courses or development circles where there is a culture of favouritism (below) or hierarchy (above).

Human beings have an innate need to feel seen and heard. Competitiveness can happen when one person in a class or group gets a higher than usual amount of attention from the group leader, who takes on a parental role to rivalrous siblings.

Alternatively, someone may perceived to have greater natural ability, be more popular, or any other unfair advantage.

Unfortunately, when your unfolding evokes insecurity instead of camaraderie and support, you may need to look for another group.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse: Heed messages from teachers that imply that they do not want students to surpass their own levels of success, including a with-holding of due praise or recognition for good work.

Likewise, if you experience social exclusion by fellow students who see another’s abilities or popularity as a threat.

I have known several instances where pupils and even a well-known teacher engaged in psychic attack of other healers whom they felt were stepping on their patch.

In her autobiographical book, On The Wings of a Prayer (HayHouse, 2012), US healer Vianna Stibal describes ‘healer wars’ in Hawaii, where there was so much competition between healers on the island that her trainings erupted into out-and-out fights between participants!

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse:

Any symptoms of psychic attack, including feeling very strange for no reason, very high anxiety levels or panic attacks, and/or chest or back pains.

If you suspect you are under psychic attack, get your energy checked out by a good energy healer. I have worked with Cherry Emery who helped me remove some unwanted attachments, see: best healers in the UK for guidance on how to find a good healer.

Red flags to look out for:

Being spoken over, feeling subtly held back, excluded or tripped up.

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #4

Mental health issues

Due to the financial pressure on some spiritual groups and schools, at enrolment time there can be a rush to ‘get bums on seats’ rather than to assess the suitability of pupils for a particular group or class.

Other than assessing ability levels, many spiritual groups fail to screen for mental health issues. Spiritual abuse can happen when you are encouraged to open up spiritually, energetically or emotionally in a group that is not safe due to members’ ongoing serious mental health issues.

This may include: trauma, personality disorders or untreated addiction.

All of these conditions present a certain set of problems in the learning environment, yet many spiritual teachers and healers are unequipped to identify or deal with such issues even when they present themselves.

This can mean the unsuspecting pupil or client has to deal with the energetic consequences and may be left feeing confused or vulnerable.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse:

Look out for drama, conflict, acting out or inappropriate behaviour that makes you feel very uncomfortable, such as passive or overt aggression.

Red flags to look out for:

Repeated exposure to irrational and unpredictable outbursts, inconsistent behaviour or an excessive need for drama, care or attention that exceeds the remit of the group.

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #5

Boundaries

Most spiritual teachers with a therapy background have a good understanding of boundaries. Boundaries are where the responsibility of the pupil stops, and the teacher’s begins.

They form part of a ‘duty of care’ that the spiritual teacher, healer or guide has as part of their role.

Boundaries are needed to keep clients and pupils safe from spiritual abuse. Unfortunately, some teachers, healers and guides put their pupils and clients at risk because they fail to understand basic boundaries.

They inadvertently break the principle to do no harm. This is usually more due to a lack of education than wilful neglect.

Nevertheless, spiritual abuse can happen when physical, energetic, legal, financial, contractual or emotional boundaries are ignored.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse:

Pay attention if the goal posts of your working agreement or rules of engagement frequently change, i.e. the needs of teacher, healer or guide are put first.

Red flags to look out for:

Frequently changing appointment / class times or days, short notice cancellations, over-sharing (where you suddenly go from client to friend, without discussion, for example) or where you are feeling pressure to behave in an unexpected way.

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #6

Projection

You may have heard of the theory of the wounded healer. It’s a archetype that many healers feel connected to. In fact, many healers have higher empathy levels and the ability to heal due to their own early trauma.

Spiritual abuse can occur when the healer, therapist or teacher is wounded, yet is still unaware of their own unconscious issues. They haven’t done enough healing work on themselves to truly be able to serve without their wounding getting in the way.

A lack of self-reflection and personal development can mean that the spiritual teacher or healer has blind spots.

When a healer or teacher hasn’t fully healed their own past, looked at their patterns or worked through unresolved issues it can be hard to serve others without their old, unconscious wounds being triggered.

In this instance, spiritual abuse may include acting out, re-enactment, projective identification, transference + counter-transference.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse:

Notice if you have the feeling of never being able to ‘get through’ to your healer or teacher without conflict. For example, if it feels like everything you say is taken the wrong way or as an attack. Or they show reactive behaviour / language that quickly escalates or becomes overly emotional.

Red flags to look out for:

Over-reaction, when your teacher or healer takes your emotions or distress personally, instead of as being part of your own healing process.

Or when your spiritual development is regressing or stuck in an unhealthy pattern of relating that echoes something you’ve had in the past. Your healing session feel ‘gloopy’ and your healer does not address this.

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #7

Power-plays

This is linked to 1 and 2. Spiritual abuse can occur when people in a group or 1-2-1 setting feel continually silenced. There may be a culture of fear or shaming of different perspectives – or simply being different.

Spiritual abuse can occur when diverging opinions are discouraged or questions are ignored or not full answered.

Signs of spiritual abuse include when you are always expected to be deferential and respectful even though the leader or healer has not earned your trust and respect.

Remember, a true leader serves his / her people by helping them, not controlling them.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse:

Look out for self-absorption, insincerity, stand-offs or an unwillingness to have open dialogue about anyone’s concerns, doubts or questions.

Red flags to look out for:

This is one form of spiritual abuse you can feel more on an energetic level. Notice how this person makes you feel.

Pay attention to any feelings of being silenced, closed down or dismissed, even if you find it hard to put a finger on exactly what is happening.

Unless you are being triggered by your own stuff (emotional baggage from the past), then you may be witnessing a covert form of spiritual abuse.

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #8

Favouritism

This is when the people who shout the loudest or have the most dominating personalities in a group are given preferential treatment by the person in charge.

Sometimes this is due to their flattery of the group leader. Meanwhile, the quieter or less confident members are ignored or given less attention.

Though this form of spiritual abuse is less harmful than the others listed, seeing the continued preferential treatment of others while your own needs (to be seen, heard and nurtured) are ignored can be distressing.

It is especially damaging for adult children of dysfunctional families because it regresses them to a painful earlier wounding.

For this reason, I have included favouritism in this list of spiritual abuse as I feel it is important for spiritual teachers and other authority figures to be mindful of group dynamics, and promote equality and inclusion.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse: Look out for signs of special relationships or preferential treatment of a chosen few.

Red flags to look out for:

You may need to check your own familial baggage to see what is being triggered and take responsibility for that, i.e. acknowledge and seek healing for your own unresolved emotional issues if there is a history of neglect.

Otherwise, feeling consistently overlooked could mean you need to work on expressing your feelings and needs more directly, to ensure you get the help you deserve.

We cover assertiveness and communication for highly sensitive empaths + introverts in my Home School.

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #9

Lack of ethics

This may be the cause of any of the previous 9 forms of spiritual abuse.

Basically, this type of spiritual abuse can be summarised by the question: does your teacher, healer or guide have adequate theoretical awareness of how to keep their clients / pupils safe (energetically, spiritually, mentally, physically).

Does their training equip them to avoid any kind of exploitation or manipulation?

Whether this kind of spiritual abuse happens or not depends on each teacher / healer’s background, education + understanding.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse:

Look out for sloppy or unprofessional communication or behaviour, an overly casual approach to serious matters, a lack of concern for your wellbeing, or an absence of care about whether or not you are the right fit for their class, group or treatment.

Red flags to look out for:

Any of the above!

Download my free guide below if you want to know more about how to find a good spiritual teacher, healer or guide.

Warning signs of spiritual abuse #10

Any kind of dogma

This kind of spiritual abuse is when an idea or set of principles is laid down by a spiritual authority as being incontrovertibly true. Anyone who doesn’t agree with and follow the rules of the group is made to feel somehow bad or evil.

This kind of spiritual abuse can be extremely damaging to adult children from dysfunctional families who are looking for a safe place to take shelter from the world.

Such adults may look for alternate authority figures for the protection and love they never received as children. Their unmet emotional needs can lead them to find dogmatic groups who promise salvation, safety and a roadmap for life more appealing.

Unfortunately, spiritual abuse of this kind usually starts subtly and becomes more overt over time, when great damage can be inflicted on unsuspecting pupils, devotees or clients.

This form of spiritual abuse is linked to number 7.

How to spot the signs of spiritual abuse:

Be aware of excessive rules, rituals or a blackballing / excommunication of people who do not submit to absolute conformity and group norms.

Red flags to look out for:

People who dissent seem to ‘disappear’ and are never spoke of again. You have a feeling of having to prove yourself or earn God’s approval.

You may feel shame, guilt, that you are not good enough or other negative feeling about you own natural self.

Spiritual abuse guidelines

If you have noticed any of these warning signs of spiritual abuse, then pay attention.

How to avoid spiritual abuse

Here’s four things you can do:

1. Be your own guru:
   
   Never give away your power, decision-making ability or agency.
   
   
2. Listen to any body reactions you may be having.
   
   Your body is a great source of information about whether or nothing something or someone is potentially good for you or harmful.
   
   Your intuition often makes itself known through a gut feeling as it is processing information your brain cannot comprehend. It’s your early warning system! If you ignore your feelings or body reactions, you may regret it!
   
   
3. Be thorough:
   
   You should do your research and not rush into things. You should expect the same degree of thoroughness in return. That is to say, the therapist, healer or teacher should be keen to find out whether you are the right fit for them too.
   
   If there is some kind of interview or application process? Great!
   
   Don’t be afraid to ask questions and interview your potential spiritual therapist, healer or teacher before getting involved. If you have any doubts, concerns or confusions then voice them so they can be addressed.
   
   
4. You should always feel safe and respected.
   

• Have you ever experienced spiritual abuse?

• How did you handle it?

• Do you have any danger or warning signs to add to this list?

Article copyright Amy Garner 2021.

Spiritual Abuse Checklist

Here’s a summary of this article + checklist of warning signs to look out for when you are considering joining a spiritual group, or working with a spiritual teacher or healer 1-2-1.

This checklist applies to healing, intuitive development, psychic or clairvoyant development, energy work, spiritual development and other spiritual or faith-based modalities.

Find a Trusted Spiritual Teacher or Healer – FREE RESOURCE

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