This August, Home Members are doing a month long Self Love Retreat at intervals, in their homes.
This month of self-love was created for those who are waking up, and wanting make change.
Small, consistent self-loving actions have their own rewards.
Namely: increased wellbeing + energy.
Yet, a side effect is your ability to manifest expands too.
Ultimately, among other benefits, self love reconnects you with your source of power.
This article explains the direct link between active self love and the speed at which your desires manifest.
What is ‘self-love’?
If you are reading to this you are likely a gentle, kind soul. You see the good in people and always try to give your best.
Conscientious and empathic towards the needs of others, you unwittingly put yourself last on the list and may find it hard to focus on yourself.
These patterns run deep until they are interrupted:
mental or physical health issues
feeling out of control, or
a feeling that you seem to care much more for the world than the world cares for you.
Why YOU need Self Love
For many years, while doing intuitive readings or healing for people, I’d receive a particular message from spirit to pass on:
“Work on the signal you are sending out”.
Over time, it became clear that these messages were directed at people who’d become very depleted, often due to too much focus outward.
Sometimes this had happened because they’d never been encouraged to look after themselves. Their feelings and needs had not been validated or expressed when younger, and consequently their inner self esteem – their sense of their own true value – was very low. This could be true even if they were a high achiever: outwardly confident and go-getting.
If this is you, the self-care habits and acts of self-love that come naturally to others, can feel alien and hard to establish.
Through my readings and healing work, I came to learn that we’re like radio transmitters, emitting a unique frequency out into the universe.
When we direct a small portion of our time and attention onto self love every day, we create a circular feedback loop that gives us good vibes.
Without this, our inner connection weakens, our emotions are not regulated, our sense of powerlessness increases, and our ‘signal’ – as alluded to in those divine messages – dims.
I’m reminding you of the importance of daily acts of self-love because:
It is impossible to manifest anything when you don’t feel good.
A way to feel good is by taking control of the things within your power. Putting your house in order, metaphorically and practically.
As a minimum, this means taking care of your mental + physical health, including nutrition, sleep and exercise.
Self Love: Where to start?
If you are feeling tired, burnt out, stressed or you simply want to change your life and attract better circumstances, the number one thing you can do to help yourself is to start showing up for yourself everyday with an act of self-love.
It genuinely only takes a few minutes everyday to begin with.
So, if you are starting from scratch, some examples would be:
• Instead of promising yourself to meditate for an hour – just sit with your eyes closed for a few minutes.
• Instead of setting a goal that you’ll go to the gym – just put on trainers and leave the house for a few minutes.
• Instead of pledging to eat healthy all day long – buy or make and eat at least just one healthy item of food in your day.
• Instead of forcing yourself into bed at 9pm – do one small thing that counts towards a new night routine.
• Instead of setting the goal to change your entire mindset and critical voice – say an affirmation to yourself every morning.
Do these tiny, symbolic acts every day for a week or two before you start to build your habit into something more substantial.
If you miss a day, start again the next day.
You must make time to start really showing up for you, even when no one else does.
As your wellbeing, positivity and empowerment grows, so does your signal.
Ultimately, your stronger energy field will then attract what you want, much more easily, in the long term.
Self Love to get what you want
Also known as Law of Attraction (LOA) or Manifestation…
I’m making the point about how self loving actions have a direct relationship with attracting your desires and LOA.
Therefore, this means finding a way to get to a good place within yourself, even if you are in difficult or unhappy circumstances – far from what you want.
When you want something really badly, you are affirming to the universe repeatedly that you haven’t got it. You may feel frustrated, as though life is unfair, and that you don’t deserve not to have that thing.
Obsession is a thought pattern that occurs when we are trying too hard to make something happen.
The energy of these lower emotions + thoughts, creates friction and resistance.
So, whether you want a new friendship group, more meaningful work, a romantic partner, more money – whatever it is – as long as you are taking consistent action in alignment with what you want – you then have to let it go mentally and emotionally.
This means focussing on what you DO already have (gratitude) and your inner state of being, with self love.
You may even need to recognise what you need to learn, first, before these things are able to come into your life – so they are not such a life-changing, big deal when they do appear.
For example, if you want a good tribe of supportive people around you, and you keep searching but not finding, or finding then being disappointed, it may be time to tweak your mindset slightly to get the result you seek.
To attract the meaningful friends your heart desires, you will need to acknowledge exactly what you have been learning by not having those people in your life yet. Examples might be: to be independent, to be self-sufficient, to have more self-awareness or the space to work on yourself and your ‘weak’ areas or patterns.
Self Love + Acceptance: the secret ingredient
Obviously, most people don’t want to do that inner work. And many people avoid facing the truth of what’s inside them for a lifetime.
Using the above example, they might find that it’s much easier to look externally: joining clubs and groups, being very proactive, really effort-ing to bring their circle of people to be, only to give-up in defeat and hurt feelings because it’s just not happening.
Though it can be initially difficult to let go of your desire for external things, somehow you have to come to a point of acceptance within yourself about the positive benefits of not having this thing in your life so far.
If you can get to the point where you can reconcile that you may never have the experience that you want in this lifetime, yet still feel content in yourself, then you are finally reaching a point where the universe can give you your wish, easily.
By making sure you enjoy the process, by only doing what is pleasurable, and not sacrificing self love for the end result, there is less friction and resistance.
You are finally out of your own way.
This process occurs differently for all of us, so you will need to experiment to find your magic formula.
But, you will know when you reach that point of acceptance because there’ll be an internal ‘click’, as though something has just shifted.
After this inner ‘click’ there’s no going back, because it’s not just an intellectual notion you’ve imposed on your being from the outside. This click or shift signifies internal spiritual growth – and you can’t “ungrow” something!
Sometimes the challenges thrown your way can push you to a point of surrender, where you have to accept that you are not in control of those externals.
You are faced with the option of living in discontent and impatience, or finding a feel-good factor about the life you do have through self loving actions.
When there is no way forward, no door, no further action to take… then you can only switch to the internal matters you’ve been neglecting or avoiding, as mentioned above.
Self love is the key to open invisible doors.
Your self love rewards
I hope this article sparks + inspires you to see the value and reward of a self-loving approach to life.
Both the short-term wins, such as
THE FEEL GOOD FACTOR
as well as the longer term gains, such as
BEING A MORE POWERFUL MANIFESTOR
HAVING ENOUGH ENERGY AND RESOLVE TO CREATE A LIFE YOU DON’T WANT TO ESCAPE FROM!
Self love for self healing
It goes without saying, I practice all the things I preach too.
I’ve incorporated self-loving actions, like meditation and exercise, into my daily life.
Yet, sometimes I go through a surge of growth when it seems like all my ‘stuff’ comes to the surface for healing. During those times, the waves of emotion make me feel like a different, much more negative, person.
Then, it can be very hard to feel good vibes.
At these times, I have learnt to search answers within, and to ride the storm in solitude. I am gentle with myself, and give myself permission to rest, while seeking knowledge about WHY I feel the way I do.*
* Normally through tarot, reading + energy healing.
Ultimately, it’s those regular acts of self love that stop my boat from capsizing and sinking under.
Eventually, the sun starts to shine again.
How can you start with a small self-loving action today?
You could buy some Good Vibes from my Home Shop!
All creations have been lovingly + thoughtfully crafted by me…
…to bring relief, light + comfort to highly sensitive people + adult children who’ve had dysfunctional upbringings.